Place new essays in the comments section for this post.
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Thursday, December 4, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Closed Workshop
This set is closed.
Do not put your essay in the comments to this post.
Do not perform workshops for the essays attached to this post.
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Do not put your essay in the comments to this post.
Do not perform workshops for the essays attached to this post.
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Monday, October 27, 2008
Hi, My name is Joe, and I want to be a better teacher.
I do not assign partners. I want you to find someone to work with whom you find compatible and whose opinion and work ethic you respect. At first, it will be pretty hit or miss, because you don't know each other yet. As a way for you to get a first idea of who you want to work with, I'm going to ask all of you to include a paragraph (or more) about yourself in comments section of this post. Please explain who you are and why you are taking the class. Tell your classmates what your goals for the class are. Explain what kind of worker you are and what kind of person you would like to work with. Read the posts of your peers and decide who you would like to with. Contact the people with whom you think you will do good work. This assignment will be very important for your participation grade. Not doing this assignment will be very bad for your participation grade. I know many people do not enjoy talking about themselves; I don't like it myself (although I just admitted something there didn't I?).
On the other hand -- and I say this every semester to every class: "I'm not asking you to make friends, only to develop professional, working relationships with a handful of your peers." I don't care what type of work you do, or will do in the future, the ability to work professionally with your peers will always be a valuable skill that leads to success. When you write about yourself, there is no need to reveal anything that you feel is personal (although it is not prohibited), you are only explaining what kind of work you want to do in this class and describing who you want to work with.
You do not have create a blogger account to post in the comments section, it will still let you post anonymously. If you do that, make sure you include your name so people know who to contact. This blog is not public, which means bots and spiders can't steal your address if you put it here. Of course, all you need to leave is your name, everyone who is supposed to know it, already knows your email address.
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On the other hand -- and I say this every semester to every class: "I'm not asking you to make friends, only to develop professional, working relationships with a handful of your peers." I don't care what type of work you do, or will do in the future, the ability to work professionally with your peers will always be a valuable skill that leads to success. When you write about yourself, there is no need to reveal anything that you feel is personal (although it is not prohibited), you are only explaining what kind of work you want to do in this class and describing who you want to work with.
You do not have create a blogger account to post in the comments section, it will still let you post anonymously. If you do that, make sure you include your name so people know who to contact. This blog is not public, which means bots and spiders can't steal your address if you put it here. Of course, all you need to leave is your name, everyone who is supposed to know it, already knows your email address.
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Tuesday, August 5, 2008
AoP Re-Search Rough Draft
Hello
Submit your Argument of Proposal / Research Rough Draft in the comments to this post
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Submit your Argument of Proposal / Research Rough Draft in the comments to this post
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Thursday, July 24, 2008
Examples of Response to Workshop
Please review these examples.
The first example is a full response. This is worth one point. Notice that the author does more than merely summarize the workshop as given. Instead, the author actually interprets her reader’s reaction to the essay. This is a second order of reading, a paraphrase of sorts, but also an inference of things the workshopper did not explicitly state. In the second part of the response, the author makes explicit plans for her revision of the essay. Notice that it is something like a checklist that the author can use to guide her through the next draft of her project.
1. After reviewing my partner’s workshop answers about the zero draft of my Batman essay, I realized that some of the information I provide (especially about the background of Bruce Wayne and his transformation) is extraneous with respect to my main thesis, and that it can be confusing in its present form as to whether or not this material is intended as evidence for my claim. Also, I learned that my essay-map in the introductory paragraph needs to be structured more similarly to the order of points made in the body, and that the map should be more explicitly tied to the language used in the main portion of the text, i.e. using an appropriately-worded topic sentence in each body paragraph in order to relate back to the essay-map.
Upon revisiting my essay in order to shape it into a rough draft, I also noticed something Lisa points out a couple of times: my paragraphs tend to be too long, especially in the body portion of the text. My sentences are also too rambling at times, mostly because this was a zero draft and I was essentially streaming my thoughts onto the keyboard without much concern for readability. This accounts for the initial body paragraph being relatively unconnected to the thesis and its evidence, since I was trying to collect my thoughts and set up the rest of the story.
The most important thing I'll need to change in my essay, after looking at the workshop answers, is definitely the structure as it relates to the coherence and readability of the paper. I will modify my introductory paragraph to include a more strictly defined essay-map, and use phrasing that can be easily recalled in the topic sentence of each body paragraph as appropriate. Also, I will break up the longer paragraphs into sections that are self-contained, each having their own topic sentences, but are still part of the same point of evidence as relates to the essay-map. Similarly, some of the more rambling sentences will have either significant portions cut, or their points reshaped into multiple sentences to improve the flow of the essay, which is quite frankly rather disjointed at the moment in certain places. Finally, I will excise or relocate some of the historical information found in my thesis statement, since it is important to make a single, cleanly coherent point in that sentence so that the reader has an easy touchstone to keep in mind while reading the rest of the text.
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The second example is more than a full response. This is worth more than one point. The first part is not as analytical as the first part in the previous example (note especially the unnecessarily vicious play upon the teacher’s name) as this author did not “read” the audience as specifically as the first author did. On the other hand, the second part is more detailed and gives this author even more to work with then the first author gave herself. The second part is fairly introspective and even contains notes on the author’s general overall style -- notes on voice and so forth. It doesn’t get much better than this (especially considering the time constraints).
A. What did I learn (from reading my partners reaction to my essay)?
I learned that I need to come up with better groupings of reasons why Stephen King is a great role model for writers. I need to make my argument more advanced. Right now my essay reads like a grocery list that just goes on and on and on; there is no introduction, build-up, or climax. I am lacking an “overall” framework to hang my argument on and make it compelling. This left my reader rather bored. She was nice about it of course…
I also learned that I need to be much more explicit in linking my criteria with my evidence. Right now my essay is almost purely evidence and has very little argument backing up why that evidence makes Stephen King such a good role model. This problem leaves the reader dry and uninspired, which is not the point of my essay. The lack of explicit argument also left my reader confused in places and wondering how a particular piece of evidence really made Stephen King such a good role model.
So basically, I have all the evidence, but it is not yet truly an argument. It’s just Grandpa Joe rambling on about whatever while unlucky someone gets caught in the room nodding continuously “uh huh…uh huh…uh huh….ok….yeah….” *snoooooooree*. So I need to fix that. I’m not connecting. I’m boring.
B. What will I change (based on partners advice)?
The first thing I will change is to group my evidence better. Right now all of my evidence stands separately and is on equal footing, which makes my essay long and flat and boring. My reader had no idea which evidence was primary or which was secondary or tertiary, or which evidence was presented as a complementary accent. Some possible groupings I’ve been thinking about are his life, his advice, his habits and his body of work. Or I could break my evidence up into his life as a role model and his advice as a mentor. This would probably require me to tinker with my thesis a little bit. I just know that I need to arrange my evidence into something more dramatic and persuasive.
The next thing I will change is to make explicit connections between my evidence and my criteria. The evidence I presented already had some standing because many people inherently know what makes someone a good role model, but there were also places where my reader was confused. Basically, I’m trying to present a rack of lamb, and instead I’m walking down the street with a dead sheep flung over my shoulder. My essay needs more than tweaking to become persuasive, but it does have the basic elements in place. I need to really focus on why my evidence makes Stephen King a good role model for writers. I think this is the hardest thing for me because I tend to be a “feeler” instead of a “thinker”.
I also need to come up with a proper introduction and conclusion. I tend to leave these until the last because it’s a lot easier to say where you’ve been than it is to say where you’re going. I also tend stall writing until I come up with the “perfect” introduction, so skipping it is easier in the beginning. My reader definitely missed having an introduction and a conclusion though. Without them she had no idea where I was going or where I went or what my greater purpose was for the paper.
I also have way too many pieces of brainstorm shrapnel in my essay. These bits and pieces also contributed to my reader being confused. They’re just little thoughts, expressed as fragments, which were left imbedded in their respective paragraphs. I either need to remove them, or else flesh them out and explain why the heck they’re in there.
I also need to add in all my citations and create my ‘works cited’ list. My partner didn’t point this out, but it’s definitely something I need to include in the next draft.
So I need to: create groupings and an argumentative framework for my evidence, make explicit connections between my evidence and my criteria/thesis, add a proper introduction and conclusion, include citations, and generally clean-up my brainstorming leftovers.
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The first example is a full response. This is worth one point. Notice that the author does more than merely summarize the workshop as given. Instead, the author actually interprets her reader’s reaction to the essay. This is a second order of reading, a paraphrase of sorts, but also an inference of things the workshopper did not explicitly state. In the second part of the response, the author makes explicit plans for her revision of the essay. Notice that it is something like a checklist that the author can use to guide her through the next draft of her project.
1. After reviewing my partner’s workshop answers about the zero draft of my Batman essay, I realized that some of the information I provide (especially about the background of Bruce Wayne and his transformation) is extraneous with respect to my main thesis, and that it can be confusing in its present form as to whether or not this material is intended as evidence for my claim. Also, I learned that my essay-map in the introductory paragraph needs to be structured more similarly to the order of points made in the body, and that the map should be more explicitly tied to the language used in the main portion of the text, i.e. using an appropriately-worded topic sentence in each body paragraph in order to relate back to the essay-map.
Upon revisiting my essay in order to shape it into a rough draft, I also noticed something Lisa points out a couple of times: my paragraphs tend to be too long, especially in the body portion of the text. My sentences are also too rambling at times, mostly because this was a zero draft and I was essentially streaming my thoughts onto the keyboard without much concern for readability. This accounts for the initial body paragraph being relatively unconnected to the thesis and its evidence, since I was trying to collect my thoughts and set up the rest of the story.
The most important thing I'll need to change in my essay, after looking at the workshop answers, is definitely the structure as it relates to the coherence and readability of the paper. I will modify my introductory paragraph to include a more strictly defined essay-map, and use phrasing that can be easily recalled in the topic sentence of each body paragraph as appropriate. Also, I will break up the longer paragraphs into sections that are self-contained, each having their own topic sentences, but are still part of the same point of evidence as relates to the essay-map. Similarly, some of the more rambling sentences will have either significant portions cut, or their points reshaped into multiple sentences to improve the flow of the essay, which is quite frankly rather disjointed at the moment in certain places. Finally, I will excise or relocate some of the historical information found in my thesis statement, since it is important to make a single, cleanly coherent point in that sentence so that the reader has an easy touchstone to keep in mind while reading the rest of the text.
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The second example is more than a full response. This is worth more than one point. The first part is not as analytical as the first part in the previous example (note especially the unnecessarily vicious play upon the teacher’s name) as this author did not “read” the audience as specifically as the first author did. On the other hand, the second part is more detailed and gives this author even more to work with then the first author gave herself. The second part is fairly introspective and even contains notes on the author’s general overall style -- notes on voice and so forth. It doesn’t get much better than this (especially considering the time constraints).
A. What did I learn (from reading my partners reaction to my essay)?
I learned that I need to come up with better groupings of reasons why Stephen King is a great role model for writers. I need to make my argument more advanced. Right now my essay reads like a grocery list that just goes on and on and on; there is no introduction, build-up, or climax. I am lacking an “overall” framework to hang my argument on and make it compelling. This left my reader rather bored. She was nice about it of course…
I also learned that I need to be much more explicit in linking my criteria with my evidence. Right now my essay is almost purely evidence and has very little argument backing up why that evidence makes Stephen King such a good role model. This problem leaves the reader dry and uninspired, which is not the point of my essay. The lack of explicit argument also left my reader confused in places and wondering how a particular piece of evidence really made Stephen King such a good role model.
So basically, I have all the evidence, but it is not yet truly an argument. It’s just Grandpa Joe rambling on about whatever while unlucky someone gets caught in the room nodding continuously “uh huh…uh huh…uh huh….ok….yeah….” *snoooooooree*. So I need to fix that. I’m not connecting. I’m boring.
B. What will I change (based on partners advice)?
The first thing I will change is to group my evidence better. Right now all of my evidence stands separately and is on equal footing, which makes my essay long and flat and boring. My reader had no idea which evidence was primary or which was secondary or tertiary, or which evidence was presented as a complementary accent. Some possible groupings I’ve been thinking about are his life, his advice, his habits and his body of work. Or I could break my evidence up into his life as a role model and his advice as a mentor. This would probably require me to tinker with my thesis a little bit. I just know that I need to arrange my evidence into something more dramatic and persuasive.
The next thing I will change is to make explicit connections between my evidence and my criteria. The evidence I presented already had some standing because many people inherently know what makes someone a good role model, but there were also places where my reader was confused. Basically, I’m trying to present a rack of lamb, and instead I’m walking down the street with a dead sheep flung over my shoulder. My essay needs more than tweaking to become persuasive, but it does have the basic elements in place. I need to really focus on why my evidence makes Stephen King a good role model for writers. I think this is the hardest thing for me because I tend to be a “feeler” instead of a “thinker”.
I also need to come up with a proper introduction and conclusion. I tend to leave these until the last because it’s a lot easier to say where you’ve been than it is to say where you’re going. I also tend stall writing until I come up with the “perfect” introduction, so skipping it is easier in the beginning. My reader definitely missed having an introduction and a conclusion though. Without them she had no idea where I was going or where I went or what my greater purpose was for the paper.
I also have way too many pieces of brainstorm shrapnel in my essay. These bits and pieces also contributed to my reader being confused. They’re just little thoughts, expressed as fragments, which were left imbedded in their respective paragraphs. I either need to remove them, or else flesh them out and explain why the heck they’re in there.
I also need to add in all my citations and create my ‘works cited’ list. My partner didn’t point this out, but it’s definitely something I need to include in the next draft.
So I need to: create groupings and an argumentative framework for my evidence, make explicit connections between my evidence and my criteria/thesis, add a proper introduction and conclusion, include citations, and generally clean-up my brainstorming leftovers.
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Thursday, July 17, 2008
Argument of Evaluation Zero Draft
Hello
post your zero draft for your Argument of Evaluation in the comments section to this post
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post your zero draft for your Argument of Evaluation in the comments section to this post
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Example of Workshop
Hello
The most important daily writing that you complete in this class is the workshops and the response to the workshop. I will try to give you as much feed back for these as I can, but I also want you to pay attention to what your peers are doing as well. The workshop is important to do because it lets you look at other writer’s work and compare it to the assignment. This is often easier to do then comparing your own work to the assignment as some people find it hard to make a clear delineation between what’s on the page and what’s in their head. It is very important to have a well organized prewrite and to refer to that prewrite frequently as you prepare your draft -- this will help to keep you from getting lost in unnavigable halfspace of the essay in progress. When you’re out there trying to find the way to your own argument, it can be very helpful to hear from some one still standing on the firm ground of objectivity. The feedback of your peers is indispensable, and it is likewise just as important to serve as the sounding board yourself. In looking for inconsistencies and elements in need of improvement in the work of others, we further develop the ability to recognize these same faults in our own work.
The response to workshop is a record of your reaction to this valuable peer generated feedback. Your response is a chance for you to work out (in concrete writing) how you will change your project based on the objective reaction received from your intended audience. It will be busywork if you are not invested in the process -- the response is a very easy assignment to boilerplate your way through. It is also the greatest opportunity available for clear reflection and doing the work of a writer.
I have included an example of a well-written example of a workshop. Notice the advice given is specific and refers directly to the assignment.
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1. What is the thesis of this essay? Why do you think this is the thesis?
I think your thesis is “The internet is a political sphere.” I think this your thesis because it is stated quite plainly both as the title of your essay as well as in the last sentence of your introduction. I was, however, left wondering what you meant specifically by “political sphere” because I am not familiar with that term. The meaning is given implicitly in your essay, but I would understand your essay better if you made the definition of this term explicit.
2. Which of the body paragraphs supports the opinion contained in the thesis the most effectively? Explain your answer.
I think the second body paragraph best supports the opinion contained in your thesis. I think this is the most effective body paragraph because it starts off with a clear topic sentence about how the internet allows people to challenge political power structures and goes into some depth to explore that topic. I think this paragraph is the most unified and makes the most sense. The wording of the topic sentence also ties this paragraph in to your essay map very well since you use the same term, “challenge power structures” in both.
3. Which of the body paragraphs supports the opinion contained in the thesis the least effectively? Explain your answer.
I think the first body paragraph least supports the opinion contained in the thesis. I think this is the least effective body paragraph because it seems to lack a unifying topic sentence. When I read this paragraph, I get lost and am not really sure what central idea you are trying to express. This paragraph reads more like you are brainstorming a concept rather than logically and coherently expounding upon a central idea. Based on your essay map, I think the central idea of this paragraph is supposed to be “allows participants to gather and engage in political dialogue”, so perhaps if you created a topic sentence that states that it would give the paragraph a unifying idea.
4. What do you feel is the most effective or successful element in this essay so far?
I think the most effective element in this essay is the thesis. Even though I can’t explicitly grasp what you mean by ‘political sphere’, I can guess easily at it by your essay. Your topic is original and the voice you write with is very engaging and easy to read. I also like that you have a well-written and well-defined essay map.
5. What do you feel is the least effective or successful element in this essay so far?
I think the least effective element is the lack of a unified flow. You obviously have thought a lot about this topic and have a lot to say, but I felt myself getting lost. Your essay reads almost as if you were brainstorming and still needed to go back and “tighten” everything up. I think you have an excellent thesis and essay map, so to help unify your paragraphs it would be nice to take each point from your essay map and create a topic sentence for each separate paragraph under which to unify and develop your ideas.
I also think it would be nice if you explicitly define what you mean by ‘political sphere’. I think that this might help me to organize my thoughts to better follow your essay. For example, the first part of your second body paragraph starts with, “Today, politics is a profession that aims to create and control messages…” and goes on to explain what politics outside the internet is like. I’m not convinced that this information needs to be in your essay as you are just trying to convince people that “the internet is a political sphere” and not necessarily that it is a better political sphere. So maybe this is a place you can dedicate to simply defining ‘political sphere’.
Another thing I noticed is that your essay doesn’t follow the format laid out by Professor Gallegos. First, we are supposed to discuss “pre-existing, established examples of the category.” So you would need to discuss existing examples of “political spheres”. Then define the characteristics for the group. So you would describe what criteria all of these political sphere’s have in common. And then explain how your topic, the Internet, possesses these same characteristics. So I guess discussing the established political sphere of the media would be appropriate, but you would want to center on what characteristics it has so that your other political sphere, the internet, can be placed in the same category. Perhaps categories of political spheres could be the newspaper, cable news programs, and student political clubs?
Right now, I feel like your essay is more “evaluative” (the internet is a better political sphere) rather than definitive (simply, the internet is a political sphere). If you look at the Argument of Definition Reminder on the ‘schedule’ for this class it will probably help a lot.
I also think you should get some references to back-up your claims and use citations. Maybe you could find the opinion of some experts who agree with you and use their opinion to help back-up your own.
6. Describe the voice of the essay.
The voice of your essay is very fluid. You write as though you are talking which is a good thing for clarity. Your voice is very forceful and opinionated. I feel like you aren’t one to disagree with. You use a lot of complex sentences that require a lot of commas. You also have a big vocabulary and use a lot of big words, but I found them to be natural choices that worked best to express your ideas (which you appear to be very passionate about).
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The most important daily writing that you complete in this class is the workshops and the response to the workshop. I will try to give you as much feed back for these as I can, but I also want you to pay attention to what your peers are doing as well. The workshop is important to do because it lets you look at other writer’s work and compare it to the assignment. This is often easier to do then comparing your own work to the assignment as some people find it hard to make a clear delineation between what’s on the page and what’s in their head. It is very important to have a well organized prewrite and to refer to that prewrite frequently as you prepare your draft -- this will help to keep you from getting lost in unnavigable halfspace of the essay in progress. When you’re out there trying to find the way to your own argument, it can be very helpful to hear from some one still standing on the firm ground of objectivity. The feedback of your peers is indispensable, and it is likewise just as important to serve as the sounding board yourself. In looking for inconsistencies and elements in need of improvement in the work of others, we further develop the ability to recognize these same faults in our own work.
The response to workshop is a record of your reaction to this valuable peer generated feedback. Your response is a chance for you to work out (in concrete writing) how you will change your project based on the objective reaction received from your intended audience. It will be busywork if you are not invested in the process -- the response is a very easy assignment to boilerplate your way through. It is also the greatest opportunity available for clear reflection and doing the work of a writer.
I have included an example of a well-written example of a workshop. Notice the advice given is specific and refers directly to the assignment.
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1. What is the thesis of this essay? Why do you think this is the thesis?
I think your thesis is “The internet is a political sphere.” I think this your thesis because it is stated quite plainly both as the title of your essay as well as in the last sentence of your introduction. I was, however, left wondering what you meant specifically by “political sphere” because I am not familiar with that term. The meaning is given implicitly in your essay, but I would understand your essay better if you made the definition of this term explicit.
2. Which of the body paragraphs supports the opinion contained in the thesis the most effectively? Explain your answer.
I think the second body paragraph best supports the opinion contained in your thesis. I think this is the most effective body paragraph because it starts off with a clear topic sentence about how the internet allows people to challenge political power structures and goes into some depth to explore that topic. I think this paragraph is the most unified and makes the most sense. The wording of the topic sentence also ties this paragraph in to your essay map very well since you use the same term, “challenge power structures” in both.
3. Which of the body paragraphs supports the opinion contained in the thesis the least effectively? Explain your answer.
I think the first body paragraph least supports the opinion contained in the thesis. I think this is the least effective body paragraph because it seems to lack a unifying topic sentence. When I read this paragraph, I get lost and am not really sure what central idea you are trying to express. This paragraph reads more like you are brainstorming a concept rather than logically and coherently expounding upon a central idea. Based on your essay map, I think the central idea of this paragraph is supposed to be “allows participants to gather and engage in political dialogue”, so perhaps if you created a topic sentence that states that it would give the paragraph a unifying idea.
4. What do you feel is the most effective or successful element in this essay so far?
I think the most effective element in this essay is the thesis. Even though I can’t explicitly grasp what you mean by ‘political sphere’, I can guess easily at it by your essay. Your topic is original and the voice you write with is very engaging and easy to read. I also like that you have a well-written and well-defined essay map.
5. What do you feel is the least effective or successful element in this essay so far?
I think the least effective element is the lack of a unified flow. You obviously have thought a lot about this topic and have a lot to say, but I felt myself getting lost. Your essay reads almost as if you were brainstorming and still needed to go back and “tighten” everything up. I think you have an excellent thesis and essay map, so to help unify your paragraphs it would be nice to take each point from your essay map and create a topic sentence for each separate paragraph under which to unify and develop your ideas.
I also think it would be nice if you explicitly define what you mean by ‘political sphere’. I think that this might help me to organize my thoughts to better follow your essay. For example, the first part of your second body paragraph starts with, “Today, politics is a profession that aims to create and control messages…” and goes on to explain what politics outside the internet is like. I’m not convinced that this information needs to be in your essay as you are just trying to convince people that “the internet is a political sphere” and not necessarily that it is a better political sphere. So maybe this is a place you can dedicate to simply defining ‘political sphere’.
Another thing I noticed is that your essay doesn’t follow the format laid out by Professor Gallegos. First, we are supposed to discuss “pre-existing, established examples of the category.” So you would need to discuss existing examples of “political spheres”. Then define the characteristics for the group. So you would describe what criteria all of these political sphere’s have in common. And then explain how your topic, the Internet, possesses these same characteristics. So I guess discussing the established political sphere of the media would be appropriate, but you would want to center on what characteristics it has so that your other political sphere, the internet, can be placed in the same category. Perhaps categories of political spheres could be the newspaper, cable news programs, and student political clubs?
Right now, I feel like your essay is more “evaluative” (the internet is a better political sphere) rather than definitive (simply, the internet is a political sphere). If you look at the Argument of Definition Reminder on the ‘schedule’ for this class it will probably help a lot.
I also think you should get some references to back-up your claims and use citations. Maybe you could find the opinion of some experts who agree with you and use their opinion to help back-up your own.
6. Describe the voice of the essay.
The voice of your essay is very fluid. You write as though you are talking which is a good thing for clarity. Your voice is very forceful and opinionated. I feel like you aren’t one to disagree with. You use a lot of complex sentences that require a lot of commas. You also have a big vocabulary and use a lot of big words, but I found them to be natural choices that worked best to express your ideas (which you appear to be very passionate about).
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Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Manifesto Example
Hello
The most important essay you write this semester will be the Manifesto. I find this ironic because your manifesto will not be graded. It is important because it will set the tone and pace of your experience in this class. It decides why you are here and what you are trying to accomplish. It won’t help you much if your goal this semester is “to get a good grade.” If you have your own goals, the grade becomes irrelevant, but I have noticed that people with good goals (that they chose for themselves) tend to also get good grades (also assuming that they work hard towards achieving those goals -- I can say I want to walk on the Moon, but there are many steps to get there).
If you never want to return to your Manifesto or look at it again, that’s fine with me, but if you want to rewrite it, I promise that I will read the new version and tell you what I think. I will even give you some advice for your revision before you do it. Seeing as though the class is already one quarter gone, this will have to happen rapidly : ) Therefore, if you have no intention of rewriting your Manifesto, please let me know and I will suspend further comment on that project. On the other hand if you do want to rewrite, please let me know that instead. So, the deal is, if you want to know what I think, you have to take another go at it. Whichever decision you make, it will not affect any of the numbers in your grade. Email me with your response.
I have pasted up a Manifesto written by one of your classmates on the blog because it is a good example of a rough draft. It also includes a very good example of a prewrite. I would like you to examine the relationship between the prewrite and the draft.
As a matter of fact, why don’t you take a look at the essay, and tell me (in an email) what you think is good about it and what you think is bad about. And if you are really hardcore (i.e., an “A” student), why don’t you compare your own essay to it while you’re at it? There is no DW# for this process, it is optional. If you choose not to do it, I won’t think less of you (promise).
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Manifesto - Pre-write
What goals will I set for myself this semester – what do I want to achieve?
My number one goal is to finish every assignment on time. By the end of this class, I want to be a better writer. I want to earn an A. I want to be better able to express my ideas in a clear cogent way. I want to be able to give my instincts a voice. I want to be able to be more fluent in logic and rhetoric so that when I use them I use them more fluidly – this will help me focus more on forming my ideas. I want to be able to write faster.
What do I expect to do in this class – how will I spend my time?
I expect to read a lot and write a lot. I expect to learn how to read actively and act on curiosity. I expect to learn how to think more clearly. I expect to write a lot. I expect to learn how to think logically and explain why I think the way I do. I expect to be able to read critically. I expect to be able to read not just what someone’s argument states on the surface, but to discern where the argument comes from, why it’s being made, and whether it is sound or not. I expect to work with my peers. I expect to spend a lot of time on extra credit! I expect to spend time researching.
What do I expect from my instructor – what do I need from him?
I expect my instructor to offer guidance and support in pursuing the goals of this class. I expect my instructor to offer specific feedback on my papers so that I am able to make my writing better – this is something I need that other English instructors have failed to do! I expect my instructor to know whether or not I am progressing in my writing skills, or if I am not, and to tell me so. This can be done by giving good, specific feedback. It’s all about the feedback.
What would make this class an enjoyable experience – what will make me happy?
Progressing in my writing would definitely make this an enjoyable experience. My writing skills are lacking, and given that I highly value being able to write well, I would love to improve! Up to this point, I have not done well in college English classes (or in High School for that matter). My matriculation score (from way back in 1999?) put me in 200 level English where I barely skated by with a B. In English 1A I earned a C. For whatever reason, I seem to do C work on long essays, and am barely able to bring it up to B work. This is only true for English classes. In other classes for which I have written long papers I have easily earned A’s with only a few B’s. This is where the lack of specific feedback from instructors comes in. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! Other than a gross use of dangling modifiers and an incessant fondness for fragments, I have no idea what I am doing wrong. If I can learn the nature of my sub par writing and, if not fix it, at least improve upon it, I will be very happy.
Daily Writing #3
Essay #1 - Manifesto – Rough Draft
------------------------
The End, the Means and the Motivation
My goals for this class are dedicated to improving my writing in a significant way and earning the best grade possible. By the end of this class, I want to be a better writer. I want to be better able to express my ideas in a clear cogent way. I want to be able to fine tune my opinions and give them an adult voice that’s worth listening to. I want to be more fluent in logic and rhetoric so that I can express myself more fluidly. I want to be able to read on a higher level – to decode and dig and understand instead of simply jumping from word to word like a child skipping rope, counting off the revolutions. These goals are quite important to me as I understand the importance of being a critical reader and writer for success in school as well as in the world. While I might just be ok forgetting which way an anticyclone spins and which notation is proper to use when expressing a determinant, I don’t think I’ll be ok if I forget how to think. I don’t think I’ll be ok if I have to go through life taking other people’s ‘word for it’ and relying on the media to be honest, objective, and reflective. As our book says, “everything’s an argument” – my goal is to be able to know precisely the depth of that statement and apply it effectively in my reading, my writing, and my life. I’d also like to punctuate properly and be grammatically correct.
I expect to spend a lot of time reading and a lot of time writing for this class. I expect that my time spent reading will exercise both curiosity and thought. I expect to spend time trying to figure out not just what someone’s argument says on the surface, but where the argument comes from, why it’s being made, and whether it is sound or not. I expect to spend time working with my peers. I expect to spend time organizing my assignments, checking the class schedule, and hitting ‘refresh’ to make sure I stay on top of things. I expect to write copious amounts of words. I expect to spend copious amounts of time arranging these words until they coherently and beautifully express my most potent beliefs. I also expect to spend an ample amount of time being quite confused and/or frustrated.
I expect my instructor to offer guidance and support to anyone who is actively pursing excellence in his or her writing. I expect my instructor to give specific feedback on my papers so that I am able to improve my writing. I expect my instructor to know, based on the quality of my papers, whether I am improving in my writing, or whether I’m not, and to tell me so. I expect my instructor to accurately reflect both my effort and ability in a letter grade. I expect my instructor to be fair; although even I can see the argument inherent in the word “fair”. In fact I’ve often heard it, usually proffered at the end of the semester in a shrill and angry voice. My expectation of fairness is in the instructor making his expectations for each assignment clear, or, if this is not possible, then in the instructor making himself available to clarify.
Progressing in my writing would definitely make this an enjoyable experience. My writing skills are lacking, and given that I highly value being able to write well, I would love to improve. Up to this point, I have not done well in college English classes (or in high school for that matter). My matriculation score (from way back in 1999?) put me in 200 level English where I barely skated by with a B. In English 1A I earned a C. For whatever reason, I seem to do C work on long essays and am barely able to bring it up to B work. This is only true for English classes. In other classes for which I have written long papers I have easily earned A’s with only a few B’s. This is where the lack of specific feedback from instructors comes in. Other than a gross use of dangling modifiers, and an incessant fondness for fragments, I have no idea what I am doing wrong! If I can learn the nature of my sub par writing and, if not fix it, at least improve upon it, I will be very happy.
---
The most important essay you write this semester will be the Manifesto. I find this ironic because your manifesto will not be graded. It is important because it will set the tone and pace of your experience in this class. It decides why you are here and what you are trying to accomplish. It won’t help you much if your goal this semester is “to get a good grade.” If you have your own goals, the grade becomes irrelevant, but I have noticed that people with good goals (that they chose for themselves) tend to also get good grades (also assuming that they work hard towards achieving those goals -- I can say I want to walk on the Moon, but there are many steps to get there).
If you never want to return to your Manifesto or look at it again, that’s fine with me, but if you want to rewrite it, I promise that I will read the new version and tell you what I think. I will even give you some advice for your revision before you do it. Seeing as though the class is already one quarter gone, this will have to happen rapidly : ) Therefore, if you have no intention of rewriting your Manifesto, please let me know and I will suspend further comment on that project. On the other hand if you do want to rewrite, please let me know that instead. So, the deal is, if you want to know what I think, you have to take another go at it. Whichever decision you make, it will not affect any of the numbers in your grade. Email me with your response.
I have pasted up a Manifesto written by one of your classmates on the blog because it is a good example of a rough draft. It also includes a very good example of a prewrite. I would like you to examine the relationship between the prewrite and the draft.
As a matter of fact, why don’t you take a look at the essay, and tell me (in an email) what you think is good about it and what you think is bad about. And if you are really hardcore (i.e., an “A” student), why don’t you compare your own essay to it while you’re at it? There is no DW# for this process, it is optional. If you choose not to do it, I won’t think less of you (promise).
---------------------
Manifesto - Pre-write
What goals will I set for myself this semester – what do I want to achieve?
My number one goal is to finish every assignment on time. By the end of this class, I want to be a better writer. I want to earn an A. I want to be better able to express my ideas in a clear cogent way. I want to be able to give my instincts a voice. I want to be able to be more fluent in logic and rhetoric so that when I use them I use them more fluidly – this will help me focus more on forming my ideas. I want to be able to write faster.
What do I expect to do in this class – how will I spend my time?
I expect to read a lot and write a lot. I expect to learn how to read actively and act on curiosity. I expect to learn how to think more clearly. I expect to write a lot. I expect to learn how to think logically and explain why I think the way I do. I expect to be able to read critically. I expect to be able to read not just what someone’s argument states on the surface, but to discern where the argument comes from, why it’s being made, and whether it is sound or not. I expect to work with my peers. I expect to spend a lot of time on extra credit! I expect to spend time researching.
What do I expect from my instructor – what do I need from him?
I expect my instructor to offer guidance and support in pursuing the goals of this class. I expect my instructor to offer specific feedback on my papers so that I am able to make my writing better – this is something I need that other English instructors have failed to do! I expect my instructor to know whether or not I am progressing in my writing skills, or if I am not, and to tell me so. This can be done by giving good, specific feedback. It’s all about the feedback.
What would make this class an enjoyable experience – what will make me happy?
Progressing in my writing would definitely make this an enjoyable experience. My writing skills are lacking, and given that I highly value being able to write well, I would love to improve! Up to this point, I have not done well in college English classes (or in High School for that matter). My matriculation score (from way back in 1999?) put me in 200 level English where I barely skated by with a B. In English 1A I earned a C. For whatever reason, I seem to do C work on long essays, and am barely able to bring it up to B work. This is only true for English classes. In other classes for which I have written long papers I have easily earned A’s with only a few B’s. This is where the lack of specific feedback from instructors comes in. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! Other than a gross use of dangling modifiers and an incessant fondness for fragments, I have no idea what I am doing wrong. If I can learn the nature of my sub par writing and, if not fix it, at least improve upon it, I will be very happy.
Daily Writing #3
Essay #1 - Manifesto – Rough Draft
------------------------
The End, the Means and the Motivation
My goals for this class are dedicated to improving my writing in a significant way and earning the best grade possible. By the end of this class, I want to be a better writer. I want to be better able to express my ideas in a clear cogent way. I want to be able to fine tune my opinions and give them an adult voice that’s worth listening to. I want to be more fluent in logic and rhetoric so that I can express myself more fluidly. I want to be able to read on a higher level – to decode and dig and understand instead of simply jumping from word to word like a child skipping rope, counting off the revolutions. These goals are quite important to me as I understand the importance of being a critical reader and writer for success in school as well as in the world. While I might just be ok forgetting which way an anticyclone spins and which notation is proper to use when expressing a determinant, I don’t think I’ll be ok if I forget how to think. I don’t think I’ll be ok if I have to go through life taking other people’s ‘word for it’ and relying on the media to be honest, objective, and reflective. As our book says, “everything’s an argument” – my goal is to be able to know precisely the depth of that statement and apply it effectively in my reading, my writing, and my life. I’d also like to punctuate properly and be grammatically correct.
I expect to spend a lot of time reading and a lot of time writing for this class. I expect that my time spent reading will exercise both curiosity and thought. I expect to spend time trying to figure out not just what someone’s argument says on the surface, but where the argument comes from, why it’s being made, and whether it is sound or not. I expect to spend time working with my peers. I expect to spend time organizing my assignments, checking the class schedule, and hitting ‘refresh’ to make sure I stay on top of things. I expect to write copious amounts of words. I expect to spend copious amounts of time arranging these words until they coherently and beautifully express my most potent beliefs. I also expect to spend an ample amount of time being quite confused and/or frustrated.
I expect my instructor to offer guidance and support to anyone who is actively pursing excellence in his or her writing. I expect my instructor to give specific feedback on my papers so that I am able to improve my writing. I expect my instructor to know, based on the quality of my papers, whether I am improving in my writing, or whether I’m not, and to tell me so. I expect my instructor to accurately reflect both my effort and ability in a letter grade. I expect my instructor to be fair; although even I can see the argument inherent in the word “fair”. In fact I’ve often heard it, usually proffered at the end of the semester in a shrill and angry voice. My expectation of fairness is in the instructor making his expectations for each assignment clear, or, if this is not possible, then in the instructor making himself available to clarify.
Progressing in my writing would definitely make this an enjoyable experience. My writing skills are lacking, and given that I highly value being able to write well, I would love to improve. Up to this point, I have not done well in college English classes (or in high school for that matter). My matriculation score (from way back in 1999?) put me in 200 level English where I barely skated by with a B. In English 1A I earned a C. For whatever reason, I seem to do C work on long essays and am barely able to bring it up to B work. This is only true for English classes. In other classes for which I have written long papers I have easily earned A’s with only a few B’s. This is where the lack of specific feedback from instructors comes in. Other than a gross use of dangling modifiers, and an incessant fondness for fragments, I have no idea what I am doing wrong! If I can learn the nature of my sub par writing and, if not fix it, at least improve upon it, I will be very happy.
---
Monday, July 7, 2008
Argument of Defintion Rough Draft
.
Post your Rough Draft (DW#8) of your Argument of Definition in the comments to this post.
.
Post your Rough Draft (DW#8) of your Argument of Definition in the comments to this post.
.
Explanation of How to Gain Benefit from Completing Multiple Workshops
I have been thinking about the workshop partnership problem. The problem being that at least some people did not receive any response to their request for a partner. The other problem that we had was that some people made commitments that they did not fulfill. If your partner did not communicate with you consistent with their promised time table, I need to know about it. Send me an email explaining what happened and their will be consequences for that person.
Previously, I stated that no one would be allowed to receive more that one review. I think this punishes students with good social networking skills, so I am lifting that restriction.
Since before you got here, there has been a method for you to publish your essay so that your peers can see it, download it, and review it for you. The method I have been using is the class wiki. A wiki is a type of website that allows all users to alter any content. For people who are not used to interacting with web based applications, the wiki has at times been confusing. There has also been the problem of folks erasing the wrong thing by accident because there is no way to lock parts of the content.
I want to experiment with a new method for students publishing their rough drafts in a place that is accessible to their peers. I could have done it on my own webpage, but cox has some limitations to server side access that make that difficult.
Instead, I’ve set up a blogger account. There will be a post that says -- “Put your essay in the comments section for this post.” There will be an area for each of your drafts that are due as daily writings. You can cut and paste your entire essay into the comments section. You do not need to have a blogger account to do this -- it will let you post anonymously. If you choose to post anonymously, make sure you include your name and email address with your essay, or no one will be able to send you a copy of the review that they wrote for you.
The blog is not open to search engines, so your email will not be captured by spiders, bots, and so forth.
So -- NEW RULES
You may exchange essays with any partner of your choosing via email just as you did before.
If you use an exchange of email, you may only exchange with one person. This one person may not be the person you exchanged with previously (I want you all to received a diversity of opinion).
On the other hand, if you publish / post your essay onto the blog, you can do as many reviews, receive as many reviews as you feel up to.
Anyone who posts their draft of their essay to the blog will receive a bonus towards their participation grade. This bonus is one of the very few opportunities to push a category beyond one hundred percent. People who take advantage of this opportunity could possibly earn more than ten points in participation.
The reward for doing more than one workshop for multiple partners is also a bonus to your participation score.
Previously, I stated that no one would be allowed to receive more that one review. I think this punishes students with good social networking skills, so I am lifting that restriction.
Since before you got here, there has been a method for you to publish your essay so that your peers can see it, download it, and review it for you. The method I have been using is the class wiki. A wiki is a type of website that allows all users to alter any content. For people who are not used to interacting with web based applications, the wiki has at times been confusing. There has also been the problem of folks erasing the wrong thing by accident because there is no way to lock parts of the content.
I want to experiment with a new method for students publishing their rough drafts in a place that is accessible to their peers. I could have done it on my own webpage, but cox has some limitations to server side access that make that difficult.
Instead, I’ve set up a blogger account. There will be a post that says -- “Put your essay in the comments section for this post.” There will be an area for each of your drafts that are due as daily writings. You can cut and paste your entire essay into the comments section. You do not need to have a blogger account to do this -- it will let you post anonymously. If you choose to post anonymously, make sure you include your name and email address with your essay, or no one will be able to send you a copy of the review that they wrote for you.
The blog is not open to search engines, so your email will not be captured by spiders, bots, and so forth.
So -- NEW RULES
You may exchange essays with any partner of your choosing via email just as you did before.
If you use an exchange of email, you may only exchange with one person. This one person may not be the person you exchanged with previously (I want you all to received a diversity of opinion).
On the other hand, if you publish / post your essay onto the blog, you can do as many reviews, receive as many reviews as you feel up to.
Anyone who posts their draft of their essay to the blog will receive a bonus towards their participation grade. This bonus is one of the very few opportunities to push a category beyond one hundred percent. People who take advantage of this opportunity could possibly earn more than ten points in participation.
The reward for doing more than one workshop for multiple partners is also a bonus to your participation score.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Bulletin
Attention Citizens and Alien Residents of Logophoria,
There are a few issues I wanted to go over with all of you as a group.
Study Guide:
If you are not reading the study guide, you are flying blind in terms of what I want from you and how I grade an essay. I do not want my grading criteria to be a surprise to you -- I don’t want you to be thinking “I hope I get a good grade.” I want you to be fully empowered with a complete knowledge of what I expect -- I want you to be thinking “I know I’m going to get a good grade; luck and hope have got nuthin to do with it.”
General Procedure:
Please label your assignment (the attachment) as dw#5 (or whatever it is). I have a separate folder for each student. Send all attachments as .doc or .rtf or in mac format (mac is so obviously better, I won’t even explain why -- you should just know).
If you have a question -- begin the subject line of your email with the word “question.” I will give priority to questions. Don’t ask me to confirm each of your submissions -- I will send out a grade summary each week and you can verify that your stuff went through at that point.
If you do more than one workshop, please indicate this when you are submitting your work. DW#6 first one, DW#6 second one. Quite confusing otherwise (which means you are less likely to get the proper credit).
It is extremely important that you clearly indicate who wrote the essay and who wrote the workshop about the essay (if it is unclear, you are less likely to receive credit for your work.
Essay #2:
You must be in the photograph, and you must be visible in the photograph. It should not be the back of your head or your feet or I don’t know what.
You need to include the photo with your essay.
make sure you answer all parts of the assignment.
Workshops:
First of all, there where some people who did multiple reviews for various partners -- that’s a good thing. Some people therefore received multiple reviews for their paper -- also a good thing. Unfortunately, some people could not find a partner (possibly because some had more than one) and therefore where unable to do the workshop at all -- this a bad thing. The bad thing outweighs the good things. Therefore, from now on -- you may still DO multiple workshops; however, you may NOT RECEIVE multiple workshops. The people who are willing to do the workshops have to spread their generosity around. There is an incentive for doing extra workshops. This is almost the only way to get extra credit towards your participation grade. Your participation grade counts for ten percent of your final overall semester grade and is largely based on your workshop scores.
Secondly, each answer should be at least a paragraph in length. A paragraph is longer than three sentences. The more specific your advice, the more helpful it will be to your classmate. Try to give specific suggestions about things that can be added, deleted, or changed, and be sure to explain why this is. Direct your comments to your classmate -- do not speak of them in the third person.
Make sure you answer all parts of all questions. For example, don’t just say which sentence is the thesis; explain why you think that sentence is the thesis.
The most important question is number five -- make sure your answer to that question is your most carefully considered.
Question #6 asks about the voice of the essay. Think of voice as the author’s personality as expressed in the writing. Voice should be consistent throughout. Voice means you can tell who wrote a paper, even when their name isn’t on it. Voice is comprised of tone, vocabulary, diction, sentence length, style, rhythm, frequency of adjectives, obscurity of metaphor, length of paragraphs, tendency toward or away from complex sentences (or long lists), and other habitual patterns.
The workshop must be accompanied by an edited copy of the essay that you have reviewed for your partner. It would be very helpful (i.e., you might get more points) if you used a different color for the material you edited.
Essays:
You should think of the workshop questions as a guideline to your basic priorities in the proper construction of an essay.
Obviously the single most important element in any essay (the defining feature of an essay) is the thesis.
First, the thesis must be explicitly stated in the first paragraph (the introduction). It should be a sentence that your reader can underline or highlight. If your reader has to paraphrase your thesis, then your thesis is not explicit. If the workshop your classmate did for you includes language such as “the thesis is about the importance of . . . ,” this means that the reader had to reconstruct a thesis that wasn’t actually there. If the workshop your classmate did for you includes language such as “the thesis is the third sentence in the first paragraph: ‘This photograph is very important to me,’” then your thesis is explicit and quotable.
Second, each paragraph should include language that explains the relationship between the material in the paragraph and the idea expressed in the thesis. Each paragraph should explain how the evidence in that paragraph supports the opinion expressed by the thesis.
Third, make sure you review the study guide on academic essay (are you beginning to get the idea that the study guide is important?). This explains to you what I mean when I tell you to write an essay. Half of your semester grade is based on essay -- don’t guess. The essay has three parts -- I will be looking for all three. The introduction has three parts -- I will be looking for all three. I have provided you with the rubric that I use to grade essays -- read it or regret it. A rubric is a series of criteria used to assess grades to essays. The development rubric reads like a flow chart -- it is a series of questions you should ask yourself in sequence. If you can positively answer the first, then ask the second. When you get to a question that you can not answer in the positive, this will tell you (approximately) what grade your essay should earn. If this grade is satisfactory, then stop and turn your paper in. If this grade is unsatisfactory, then revise your paper (using the next question in the rubric as a guideline) until you know that the paper satisfies those conditions.
Essay #3
You do not have to choose a topic from the idea bank.
You should at least look over the
suggestions I have provided, but no, you are not required to choose one of them. However they should give you an idea of the pattern that your thesis should take. Read the reminder about how to use John Leo’s essay as a pattern to follow for your Argument of Definition. First, you must decide what the category is. Then you can determine your thesis. For example: Flag burning is Free Speech. Your thesis should be a definition, not an evaluation. If your thesis includes a qualifier such as good or bad, as in “Paris Hilton is a terrible role model for young girls,” then you are not writing a definition (you are writing an evaluation). The reminder explains the three parts of the Argument of Definition essay. Your essay must include these three parts.
There are a few issues I wanted to go over with all of you as a group.
Study Guide:
If you are not reading the study guide, you are flying blind in terms of what I want from you and how I grade an essay. I do not want my grading criteria to be a surprise to you -- I don’t want you to be thinking “I hope I get a good grade.” I want you to be fully empowered with a complete knowledge of what I expect -- I want you to be thinking “I know I’m going to get a good grade; luck and hope have got nuthin to do with it.”
General Procedure:
Please label your assignment (the attachment) as dw#5 (or whatever it is). I have a separate folder for each student. Send all attachments as .doc or .rtf or in mac format (mac is so obviously better, I won’t even explain why -- you should just know).
If you have a question -- begin the subject line of your email with the word “question.” I will give priority to questions. Don’t ask me to confirm each of your submissions -- I will send out a grade summary each week and you can verify that your stuff went through at that point.
If you do more than one workshop, please indicate this when you are submitting your work. DW#6 first one, DW#6 second one. Quite confusing otherwise (which means you are less likely to get the proper credit).
It is extremely important that you clearly indicate who wrote the essay and who wrote the workshop about the essay (if it is unclear, you are less likely to receive credit for your work.
Essay #2:
You must be in the photograph, and you must be visible in the photograph. It should not be the back of your head or your feet or I don’t know what.
You need to include the photo with your essay.
make sure you answer all parts of the assignment.
Workshops:
First of all, there where some people who did multiple reviews for various partners -- that’s a good thing. Some people therefore received multiple reviews for their paper -- also a good thing. Unfortunately, some people could not find a partner (possibly because some had more than one) and therefore where unable to do the workshop at all -- this a bad thing. The bad thing outweighs the good things. Therefore, from now on -- you may still DO multiple workshops; however, you may NOT RECEIVE multiple workshops. The people who are willing to do the workshops have to spread their generosity around. There is an incentive for doing extra workshops. This is almost the only way to get extra credit towards your participation grade. Your participation grade counts for ten percent of your final overall semester grade and is largely based on your workshop scores.
Secondly, each answer should be at least a paragraph in length. A paragraph is longer than three sentences. The more specific your advice, the more helpful it will be to your classmate. Try to give specific suggestions about things that can be added, deleted, or changed, and be sure to explain why this is. Direct your comments to your classmate -- do not speak of them in the third person.
Make sure you answer all parts of all questions. For example, don’t just say which sentence is the thesis; explain why you think that sentence is the thesis.
The most important question is number five -- make sure your answer to that question is your most carefully considered.
Question #6 asks about the voice of the essay. Think of voice as the author’s personality as expressed in the writing. Voice should be consistent throughout. Voice means you can tell who wrote a paper, even when their name isn’t on it. Voice is comprised of tone, vocabulary, diction, sentence length, style, rhythm, frequency of adjectives, obscurity of metaphor, length of paragraphs, tendency toward or away from complex sentences (or long lists), and other habitual patterns.
The workshop must be accompanied by an edited copy of the essay that you have reviewed for your partner. It would be very helpful (i.e., you might get more points) if you used a different color for the material you edited.
Essays:
You should think of the workshop questions as a guideline to your basic priorities in the proper construction of an essay.
Obviously the single most important element in any essay (the defining feature of an essay) is the thesis.
First, the thesis must be explicitly stated in the first paragraph (the introduction). It should be a sentence that your reader can underline or highlight. If your reader has to paraphrase your thesis, then your thesis is not explicit. If the workshop your classmate did for you includes language such as “the thesis is about the importance of . . . ,” this means that the reader had to reconstruct a thesis that wasn’t actually there. If the workshop your classmate did for you includes language such as “the thesis is the third sentence in the first paragraph: ‘This photograph is very important to me,’” then your thesis is explicit and quotable.
Second, each paragraph should include language that explains the relationship between the material in the paragraph and the idea expressed in the thesis. Each paragraph should explain how the evidence in that paragraph supports the opinion expressed by the thesis.
Third, make sure you review the study guide on academic essay (are you beginning to get the idea that the study guide is important?). This explains to you what I mean when I tell you to write an essay. Half of your semester grade is based on essay -- don’t guess. The essay has three parts -- I will be looking for all three. The introduction has three parts -- I will be looking for all three. I have provided you with the rubric that I use to grade essays -- read it or regret it. A rubric is a series of criteria used to assess grades to essays. The development rubric reads like a flow chart -- it is a series of questions you should ask yourself in sequence. If you can positively answer the first, then ask the second. When you get to a question that you can not answer in the positive, this will tell you (approximately) what grade your essay should earn. If this grade is satisfactory, then stop and turn your paper in. If this grade is unsatisfactory, then revise your paper (using the next question in the rubric as a guideline) until you know that the paper satisfies those conditions.
Essay #3
You do not have to choose a topic from the idea bank.
You should at least look over the
suggestions I have provided, but no, you are not required to choose one of them. However they should give you an idea of the pattern that your thesis should take. Read the reminder about how to use John Leo’s essay as a pattern to follow for your Argument of Definition. First, you must decide what the category is. Then you can determine your thesis. For example: Flag burning is Free Speech. Your thesis should be a definition, not an evaluation. If your thesis includes a qualifier such as good or bad, as in “Paris Hilton is a terrible role model for young girls,” then you are not writing a definition (you are writing an evaluation). The reminder explains the three parts of the Argument of Definition essay. Your essay must include these three parts.
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